John Q discusses his good life! 
Brandeis goes back in time!
A Guide to SunDeis!
Water contaminated with drugs!Opinion.htmlMore_News.htmlSundeis.htmlMore_News.htmlshapeimage_4_link_0shapeimage_4_link_1shapeimage_4_link_2shapeimage_4_link_3

Headlines       Opinion       Photo Poll            Sundeis          More News       X Marks The Spot


Webmaster Alex Martynov

Alex Norris

Rachel Sier
Jordan Smedresman

Alex Braver

Jackie Feinberg

Erika Geller

Alex Mansfield

Why did the book join the police department?

So it could work undercover!

The editors of The Blowfish would like to apologize for apologizing for not printing in color these past two issues. It seems that we have greatly overestimated our skills with InDesign in that we assumed we knew what we were doing in the first place. The Blowfish regrets the error.




Judah Druck

Leor Galil

Haley Baron

Jordan Goodnough

Dan “Hubbles” Litwok

Dan “Bubbles” Newman

Zev Rowlett

Liz Rubin

Arthur Serer

Ben Silver

Daniel Orkin

Sam Roos (AWOL)

Anthony Scibelli

   THANK YOU                  FOR READING


The Blowfish is a Brandeis University publication. It is not a real newspaper, and as such contains completely fictional articles. No articles or quotes are truthful by any means and should not be conceived as such. All photos courtesy of the Internet (public domain) and staff. Any questions can be directed to the Webmaster at

The Brandeis basketball team celebrated not only their victory on the court, but their victory over voice-cracking and acne.

Doesn’t Plan on Voting
    New York Governor Elliot Spitzer was linked to a prostitution ring this past week, shaking the very foundation of a state known for its lack of corruption and controversy. While most had assumed Spitzer was in trouble for hiring prostitutes, it turns out Spitzer himself was being hired for a night of “dirty sex and hardcore legislation.” 
    Spitzer’s reputation among New York state legislators is notorious, The Blowfish discovered through some old-fashioned muckracking. State Representative Michelle Schimel described him as “a man who knows the political value of showing a little backside.” A senator who prefers to remain anonymous (and apparently very kinky) gave a more...endowed explanation. For his interview and full color pictures, see our website at Let’s just say that you’ll never look at an appropriations bill the same way again. 
    The detective who broke the case, Guy Snooker, allowed us into his smoke-filled office to explain his work on the case. “The whole thing started when Spitzer walked in, without knocking. He was wearing black fishnets and a skirt that made me think he’d just come from standing on a street corner, selling his own special skills. He sat on my desk, crossed his legs, and loosened his tie. From the waist up you could almost believe he was a normal politician. He still hadn’t explained himself, so I put my feet up and said, ‘What the hell are you doing in my office Spitzer, I told you if you came back here I’d shoot you right in the heart.’ And why not? He’d broken mine, so http://www.blowmyfish.comshapeimage_36_link_0

A night with this stud will cost you some good money, or a promise to vote for his next resolution.