| Dos | Dont's |
|---|---|
| Allow free expression of feelings | Dont' try to "fix" bad feelings |
| Acknowledge the small victories | Don't set all goals around food |
| Focus on the emotions rather than the actions and behaviors | Don't try to stop a binge or restriction in progress-wait |
| Make time to talk after a tense moment has passed | try not to react with anger, but do not deny your anger |
| Help the person relax | Don't only communicate about the eating disorder |
| Talk- keep communicating | Don't be judgemental |
| Check to see if you understand what the person is saying | Don't talk down or lecture |
| Show love and support | Don't tell them what to do |
| Be understanding | Don't set up an inquisition |
| Find positive things to talk about | Don't be a police person |
| Take the focus off the food | Don't dwell on the past |
| Be there to support | Try not to blame |
| Focus on things that increase self-esteem | Don't try to change them |
| Share your feelings | Dont' try to control-let it go |
| Be honest | Don't ask if they ahve eaten today |
| Ask what you can do to help | Don't change your life to revolve around the person with an eating disorder |
| Help structure relaxed meals | Don't let the eating disorder become your problem |
| Take care of yourself | Don't try to change the person |
An added thought:
When you are caught in a bind of "damned if you do and damned if you don't" talk about the bind.
If the eating disordered individual does not want to get better, we cannot cure them. The will to recover must come from within the individual
Compiled from Deaconess Waltham Hospital form #550